Another month

It has been 6 months since we held our baby girl.  Actually, 6 months and 2 days.  I had a heart breaking moment a few weeks ago when I realized that I was forgetting my baby's face.  Beagz said that is part of the way God created us so that we will be able to continue living life.  And living life is what we're doing.  I think of Mayah so many times during the day, but we just keep going on.  I can find joy within me for others.  I see more beautiful things in life and the gray is being filled in with color.  I keep in mind the idea that we are in God.  I imagine myself cradled in His arms just as I would have cradled Mayah.  There is great comfort in that picture.  I still wonder what God's plan was in all of this heartache.  Will I ever know why?