Words of Dancing with the Angels

I know it is difficult to see some of the words, but these are the words that have been used in previous posts.  The larger the word, the more often it was used.  (wordle.net created the image.)  Such a wonderful way to continue to remember precious Mayah Joy.

I'm not finished

I haven't written anything since Mayah's birthday.  I struggled with the idea that I should be finished with grief since it's been a full year since she was  born.  I am not finished.  I don't know how long it will take or if I will ever be finished.  I know that people around me are finished.  I know that traditionally, people grieve for a year and then move on.  I am moving on, but I'm not finished grieving.  It's an uncomfortable place to be.  I still flop back to anger and sadness.  I still question why.  I think about what I would be doing if she had been born in April instead of November.  Sometimes I feel so distanced from what happened, it feels like it may have been a bad dream.  Then other times, the pain is so fresh and I know it wasn't a dream.  If I let myself think for too long, it just weighs me down.  So I get up.  I play with my dogs.  I go outside.  I go to work.  I do chores.  I take those little steps that I know will take me through the day.  And I do get through each day.  But there is never a day that I do not think of my precious Mayah Joy.